It is interesting to consider that in my entrance psychological exams for seminary, I came out as being overly trusting.
Over the last few weeks, I have come to the realization that I am not a very trusting person. Certainly, I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt in everyday relationships. When it comes to the heart, however, I tend to guard myself a little too much.
I have held up many walls over the years to protect myself from getting hurt. I have been working at bringing those walls down lately, but it makes me feel incredibly vulnerable. I sense a strong threat of getting hurt and it scares me.
Right now, I am learning my faith in God's presence isn't as strong as I thought it was. I don't trust that God will bring me through the good and the bad. I preach the message regularly, but now understand I have never truly taken that message to heart. This is a very difficult thing to realize, and i'm a bit ashamed.
I know this isn't my normal, bubbly post, but even I have those "non-bubbly" moments. This time of transition personally and vocationally is a bit difficult right now. If you could please keep me in your prayers, it would be very much appreciated.
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3 comments:
My dear internet friend my heart is sad for you and my soul is in prayer for you. It must be a big transitional time for you professionally and personally. You are a believer and without you knowing it God will take your hand and guide you. You have been so faithful to so many let them all hold you up in prayer right now.
Prayers being said. Peace be with you.
Faithful Reader
It's more important to be honest than bubbly all the time! :) At least you're working on it -- that's all we can ever do to improve. Good luck to you and from what my mom says, congratulations!!!
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