Call Sermon

I haven't shared a sermon with you for a while and thought it was high time. Here is the sermon I preached the day I was officially called to the congregations. I am moving this weekend and as soon as the internet is hooked up in the parsonage, I promise I will give a real update. Enjoy!

For decades, Alaska’s commercial fishing industry has been listed as the most dangerous job around. The Alaskan crab season can last anywhere from a couple days to a few weeks, usually during the fall and winter months. It takes place in the Gulf of Alaska where over 200 fishing vessels are docked at Dutch Harbor, ready to set out.

To crab fish, the workers must drop 800 pound steel cages covered in herring meat where they will rest for a couple days. The fishermen then return to each trap where they hope and pray each cage is filled with crab.

The men and women will often work 18-20 hour days, creating intense mental strain and exhaustion. They risk getting caught in the coils or on traps. The winter waters in the Bering Sea can cause hypothermia within seconds and the risk of capsizing is high due to rogue waves.

Those working on the fishing vessel must labor as a team day and night. Each brings their individual gifts to the work, baiting the traps, bringing in the traps, filling the tanks, removing unwanted catches, cooking the meals… They must listen to each other and more importantly their captain. Renegade fishermen often cause disaster either putting them at risk for losing their catch or their lives.

Today we celebrate the Church; it is the day of Pentecost. We remember how upon Jesus’ ascension into Heaven we were given the gift of the Holy Spirit. It is the gift of our Trinitarian God’s continued work in the world through the Christian body. It is the Spirit’s working through us, acting as our captain to guide us in the work of the Church.

The word for Spirit in the Greek is pneuma, often translated as wind or breath. It is the word used to describe Jesus breathing the Spirit on the disciples, and it is the same word used to describe God’s act of breathing life into Adam. It is a word that encapsulates life and energy. The Spirit is the life breath of the church, motivating us, comforting us, encouraging us along the way. Like the captain of commercial fishing boat, it is the drive that moves us into action. It is the breath that unifies us to fulfill a common mission.

As with the crew on a fishing boat, we all bring many and varied gifts to the ministry. In fishing, the captain will identify the gifts each individual crew member has and will accordingly assign them to their different tasks. In the body of Christ, the Spirit breathes life into church, offering unique and wonderful gifts for each individual. These are the gifts of the preacher, the teacher, the musician, the sexton, the health care worker, the quilter, the steel worker…. The Spirit has empowered the Christian body with incredible diversity in order to fulfill the mission of sharing the Good News to the world.

They are gifts which come in a variety of ways, some spectacular, demanding our attention, and others more quiet, gradually coming into notice. In crab fishing one is much more apt to notice the intense and dramatic work of the people on deck, bringing in the crab pots and emptying them. The cook downstairs, however, is much less noticeable until everyone becomes hungry and shares in a meal.

This past Friday at the seminary, a class of over 40 students graduated with degrees which will give us some of the tools needed to do the ministries to which we are called. We were told with the degrees in hand, we were now prepared to go out and serve in hospitals, social ministries, as professors, and as pastors. The president of the seminary placed in our hands a beautiful certificate with our names on them, claiming us as bearers of a Master’s of Divinity, ministerial studies, or other such degrees. It was claimed we now have what it takes to do the ministry to which we are so called.

Each of us in this graduating class, are much like the crew members of a fishing vessel. We came from a variety of backgrounds and bring to the ministry a wide variety of gifts. Some will go out to minister in hospitals. Some will go out to combat zones to minster as military chaplains. Some plan to write books or teach. Some hope to work as associate ministers while others feel called to rural ministry. Though we lived together, ate together, and sat day in and day out in classrooms and libraries united as one class…we are now to be scattered throughout the world.

And yet though we are scattered, we are still united as one Christian body. The greatest preparation we received over the last four years together and throughout our lives was not the education or that beautiful, wonderful certificate that was placed in our hands. It was not even the relationships we built with each other over the last four years. Rather, it is the way in which the Holy Spirit, our life breath, has guided us through this journey in ministry, fed us through word, sacrament, and community. It is the way in which the Spirit has gifted us with the tools needed in order to fulfill the calls we have been given.

As the body of Christ, we are all called to be active participants in the Church’s mission. In baptism, we were told to “let your light so shine before others that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven”. Through the water and the Word proclaimed, we were given the gift of the Holy Spirit and called to go forth proclaiming the Good News of God’s grace. This light we were called to let shine is the light of Christ and the good works we were called to perform is the work of the Spirit through the gifts we have been given.

This commissioning to be active participants in the Christian body can be laden with fear and anxiety. Much like the disciples in the upper room that evening, we can lock the doors of our hearts and minds for fear of getting hurt. Though we may not fear for our lives as the disciples did, we can often be scared of embarrassment or failure. At times, the gifts the Spirit gives us are not the kinds we would have chosen. We may not want to be the deckhands or the cooks. We may not want to be teachers, preachers, readers, greeters, or ushers. We may not feel we are capable of doing the things to which we are called…and yet the call continues to beckon to us.

Even when we can close the doors of our hearts and minds, Jesus will enter our locked rooms. Not by breaking down the door or picking the lock. Jesus simply will appear, extend his hands, and call out “peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” And we are in turn given the gift of the Spirit.

We are not sent out to use the gifts given empty handed. Our loving God knows that without the Holy Spirit, we would all be failures. There is no way our simple human nature could perform such great tasks. And yet with the Holy Spirit, all things are possible.

This is the way in which the Spirit works in all of our lives. We have been given gifts for ministry that are wide and varied. Not all are called to the public forms of ministry such as becoming pastors or diaconal ministers. We are not all called to be organists in the congregation or teachers in the classroom. And yet we are all given the gift of the life breath of the church, our captain, the Holy Spirit. It is the Spirit that guides us in our call to ministry, uniting us as the Christian body to fulfill the Church’s great mission.

There is no need for us to fear failure, as this is not simply our work. If it were, we would have reason to fear. Yet the great God who appeared in locked rooms, who rose from the dead, and who poured out the Spirit is the same God who will act through each of us to share the Good News to all. Amen.

The Best Weekend EVER!

To say this past weekend was one of the best ever feels a bit like an understatement. It seems everything that possibly could have gone right did. What a tremendous gift!

My father, stepmother, and older sister all arrived on Thursday evening. It was such a gift to have them here to witness graduation and the last part of the call process. We had a great time visiting over the past six days and I miss them already. In between all the exciting events, we were able to explore Gettysburg and Lancaster county. The weather didn't always cooperate, but that did not phase us brave northwesterners at all! My amazing professor from Trinity, friend, and now colleague Audrey was able to make it for graduation! She is one of the main reasons I ended up going to Gettysburg. I could never thank her enough for encouraging me to attend all the way across the country. Pennsylvania has become my home and I would not trade my experience at Gettysburg Seminary for anything.

Graduation was everything I could have hoped and more. I really did not realize how important this was to me until I was up there about to receive my diploma. Looking around at my classmates and professors, I realized how much each person in the room has become a part of my life. God really used this amazing community to help in forming my pastoral identity.

Receiving the hood and the diploma was an incredible experience. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would recieve a Master's degree, let alone a four year Master of Divinity. I sat and stared at the diploma many times for days afterwards. It is a tremendous accomplishment only possible through the Holy Spirit. I know I could not have done this by any other means. God is so good and I cannot wait to serve in the parish!

Another major component to graduation day was Terry's arrival in town! For those who do not know, I met Terry online about 15 months ago. Why I joined eharmony is a whole other email but let me tell you, I am SO glad I did! Two weeks into my online journey, I was matched with Terry and knew from that moment on my membership would have to simply run out.

Our first conversation was over two hours long and it just kept getting better from there. He was in Okinawa at the time, serving as a religious program specialist in the Navy assigned to a Marine unit. The majority of our time has been spent communicating over the phone and online due to the distance. He is now living in South Carolina, making the distance better but still not great. We have become amazing friends simply through the phone and letters.

This weekend we decided to officially begin dating. We know with the distance this will not be easy, but we are up to the challenge! He will be in the states until October and then will do a six month tour in Iraq. After Iraq, it is our hope and prayer he will be able to begin seminary here in Gettysburg sometime soon after!

On Sunday Terry, my family, and I all traveled up to the churchs for my final call vote! This included my leading worship in both congregations. It was so special having them here to witness this event. I am pleased to announce there was a 95% majority vote in favor of calling me to St. Luke's in Mount Union and St. James in Huntingdon, PA! I will be the solo part-time pastor at St. Luke's and the Associate part-time Pastor at St. James in charge of youth, family, and intergenerational ministries! It is a wonderful call and I am so excited to begin.

Ordination is now scheduled for June 5th in Altoona, PA at the opening worship for Synod Assembly. If any of you are able to make it, please feel free to join us! I will officially be a pastor after ordination and will begin working that Sunday.

So, that is my big update! Thank you all for your love, prayers, and support. It has been a crazy journey and I could not have done any of it without you. I will continue to keep you posted on all the exciting events!

Asher and Jacob's Friends Video

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We're Gonna Graduate!!!!

Yup, it's really going to happen! Grades were turned in for seniors at noon today. I recited a Psalm in class this afternoon which was the very last assignment EVER other than continuing ed stuff. AND, I just picked up my cap and gown for graduation (as seen demonstrated by Katy)!!!

This is my third graduation and by far the most exciting. The difference between this verses High School and College graduation is I actually believe it is the end! The possibility of my doctorate will always hang in the air, but financially and time wise I doubt that will ever happen. I have learned though never to say never, as God does enjoy a good laugh. :)

Family is flying in this Thursday evening from Seattle and graduation is Friday at 1:30pm. Saturday I then drive up to my possible future home for a meet and greet with the congregation. Sunday I will return there to preach and have the final call vote! Things are happening right and left, and I can say all i'm doing right now is walking around with a BIG smile!

Alright, I am off to do a bit of cleaning. Hope you are all doing well and be on the lookout for more exciting news! This next week I should be able to tell you where I moving and when!!

Disney World

Alright, so i'm sooo not concentrating on the homework I should be doing.

In January 2009, i'm hoping to do a trip to Disney World with my two sisters. Not one of us has ever been there, though we have done Disney Land. The other cool thing is it will be the first trip we have done with just the three of us! When I came to Seminary, I promised myself when I graduated that I would do this and now it is (I think) really going to happen; woo hoo!

Anyway, I have been busily making plans when I should really be doing homework. I think I have some good ideas about how to do the trip but am still looking for help.

Do any of you Disney veterans have good ideas????

The Obsurdity of the Vet

So, can someone please explain this to me? How is it that I go in to the doctor and, after what little insurance I have the bill comes out LESS than a trip to the veteranarian?! Each and everytime I go in to the vet, I leave stomping my feet all huffy puffy as half my bank account has been tapped.

Now don't get me wrong: I love my pets. These two furry little creatures, although rather annoying at times, are part of my family. When I go away for a weekend, I always find myself unable to sleep as I don't have two fur-kids pressed up against my head suffocating me. I love them, no matter how much they meow, shed, and spazz out throughout the night (and day).

Unfortunately, now that I have spend almost fifty dollars on Melanchthon this morning, I also have the joy of having a roid filled cat. This is about our sixth go-round with prednisone and I can tell you right here and now, I am not looking forward to it. Like humans, cats get hungry, thirsty, moody, and just plain bizarre when they go on steroids. He has only had one dose and has already screeched up and down the hall about forty times.

Ahhh, finals week is turning out to be even more FUN than I had predicted! *smile*

Alright, I promise I am done whining...for now.

A Little Less Secreteness (Is that a word?)

Alright, so here is a little more info on the call process:

1) I have finished 2 of the 3 interviews and have had unanimous votes at BOTH!

2) The third and final part of the process will take place May 10th -11th. This is only ONE day after graduation and will be the congregational call vote. I will preach and help lead worship. The vote will take place that day and if they vote in my favor, I will either accept, reject, or take up to 30 days to make the decision.

3) If everything goes well, I will hopefully be ordained in early June and start very soon after that.

4) I am EXHAUSTED!

Hope you are all doing well. I have a TON of homework that is due by Monday of next week so should get going. Please keep praying, and I will continue to reveal details as I am able!

Living in a world of secrets

Hello dear friends,

I know many of you are wondering what in the world is going on in regards to the call process. As you can tell by the title of this blog, it is all about the secrets.

What I can tell you is I am indeed in the call process. So far it is going wonderfully and I am deep in discernment. This has been a marvelous process and I am learning a great deal more about how the Church functions. I had always wondered how the interview process was different for a pastor verses a "regular" job. I can tell you now it is INCREDIBLY different. Some of those differences are wonderful, some are overwhelming.

I can also tell you this process is not fast. It is not like going into a job interview and knowing within the week if you have it. This will take time, weeks, not days. The call process is a time to discern as a pastor (or future pastor in my case) and as a congregation. This is an interview both for the congregation and the pastor. It is a coming together to discern where God wants all of us to be.

So, I hope this gives some answer to those who are "biting at the bit". As more is able to be revealed, I will be certain to share it. Your prayers, concerns, questions, and loving support have all been felt and appreciated. Thank you for being there for me throughout this journey. I pray you are all doing well and would love to hear how you are doing when you have time!

The Beginning of the End

Whew, I did not realize how long it had been since I gave a real post. I guess that is just a testament to how busy things have been!

Life seems to be speeding up and slowing down all at the same time. The last few weeks I have had a case of the "seminary plague" which was probably heightened by all the stress of my last semester. Doctors in this area say it has been one of the worst flu seasons they have seen in over a decade; I would have to say from my experience with it, I agree! Glad it is over a gone finally, as it was absolutely horrible.

My younger sister came in to town to spend Spring break with me last week. Aside from the flu, we had a great time. We spent most of our time here in the Gettyburg area, going up to Hershey, the Harrisburg area, and even horseback riding here on the battlefield (very cool, I recommend it).

In the midst of the flu, I had a meeting scheduled in New York City. My body really didn't want to go, but I knew I needed to. We took the train in from Harrisburg and spent the first day resting and then seeing the broadway production of Spamalot (my favorite). That evening I got really sick and it didn't end in time for the meeting. As hard as it was, I knew I had no choice but to cancel it. We then called and got an earlier train back to Harrisburg. As miserable as I felt, Jamie and I still managed to have a good time. The interview will now take place over the phone this upcoming week.

The call process has been going really well. Unfortunately, I can't say much about any of the details. This makes it difficult to share my joy with others, but it is the way things are done in the church. What I can tell you is I have a big interview coming up in the near future. Please, keep me and the congregation in your prayers as we interview. I will whole-heartedly admit I am nervous! I know that as long as I am myself, it will all work out. It is still scary though....

Another exciting thing coming up is I will be teaching a one day course on Christian Education for lay people on April 12th. I was asked to do this last summer and am very excited about it. I will be focusing on teaching the students how to create a mission statement for their Sunday school program and how to pick and adapt curriculums to fit their congregations. It should be a lot of fun.

Thank you for all your prayers and support. It is really difficult to believe in under 50 days I will have graduated (that is if I finish all this homework that has piled up!). I am looking forward to it but will really miss this community. I love Gettysburg so much and the people I am surrounded with on a daily basis. Thankfully I will only be a couple hours from here so can visit often.

Alright, back to homework! I pray you are all doing well, and promise to update you soon!

Laura Lynn
http://www.asherandjacobsfriends.com/
http://laurathevicar.blogspot.com/

Idol

In case you didn't know already, i've come out of the closet and whole-heartedly admit i'm an idol fan. And, I hate to say it but i've completely fallen for one particular contestant. Now tell me, is this 17 year old kid not AMAZING?!!! Turn off the music on the right side and enjoy!

Assignment!

Hello Everyone!

I apologize for leaving you in suspense. I am so pleased to announce I have been assigned to the Allegheny Synod in central Pennsylvania. This is the area in which I did internship and I loved it so much. The synod goes from the Somerset area up through State College. It is beautiful and is surrounded to the Appalachian "mountains". Sorry for the parenthesis, but being an Alaskan it is hard to call those things mountains!

What will happen now is I will begin recieve a profile on a congregation. We will then begin the interviewing process which includes preaching at the congregation. A voting process then takes place and if all goes well, I will accept the call! If this does not occur, the process begins all over again with another congregation.

In regards to my ordination, this is all dependent upon the call process. The one thing I can promise is it will not happen before graduation in May. I know many of you who hope to come out are eager to find out when this will be. Unfortunately, in most cases there is not much notice as to when or where this will take place. If you are looking to attend, please let me know and I will notify you as soon as I can.

Thank you for all your notes of prayer, encouragement, and even concern when you didn't hear anything! I was assigned to the region on Wednesday and didn't hear from the Bishop about the synod till this afternoon. This is all so exciting though a little overwhelming.

Please continue to keep me in your prayers throughout this process, especially that the Holy Spirit will guide me to wherever I am called.

Laura

My personal blog: http://laurathevicar.blogspot.com/

Colbert, New York, and the Call Process!

Yesterday my two friends and I went to see the Stephen Colbert portrait hanging between the bathrooms of the National Portrait Gallery in Washington DC. For those who do not watch the Colbert Report on Comedy Central, it is a political satire type news show (I would highly recommend it). On the show, he attempted to have his portrait displayed in the American History Museum only to be rejected and sent to the Portrait Gallery. As they have a good sense of humor, the obliged and placed it between the bathrooms and above two drinking fountains. It is only there until March 2nd so we made sure to make it over before it was removed. I have to say, it seems they are getting many more visitors, though they are all found surrounding the restroom entrance!

School is still going well and I am continuing with my goal to stay motivated through the semester (see previous blog post). I am entering week three and am still enjoying my classes! Right now I am busy working on the research project for my Theology of Cancer course. I have decided to journey up to New York City in March to visit with a chaplain at Memorial Sloan Kettering, one of the top cancer research hospitals in the world. Some of the families from the website I run have children who are being treated there and I am currently setting up some meetings with them. The project I am doing is to study how family dynamics are effected when a child is undergoing treatment for cancer. It is my hope that this project will be a helpful resource to myself and other pastors when congregation members are facing similar situations.

Some other exciting news is in a mere 10 days the regional assignment process will be complete and I will know which part of the country I will be serving in! I am becoming very excited and feel open to just about anywhere I may end up. My heart still longs to remain in Pennsylvania, but I know that God's plans are always so much better than my own. Please continue to pray for me and all the other ELCA 1st call pastors over the next couple of weeks.

So, that is about it for now. Thank you again for all your prayers and support. I promise to send out an update ASAP when I hear about the regional assignment. When you have a moment, please don't hesitate to send me a quick update about how you are doing. I really do love hearing from all of you!

Laura (and of course Mel and Katy!)
http://laurathevicar.blogspot.com/

Please don't forget to visit the website I run, Asher and Jacob's Friends. There are many who could really use your prayers.

3 months, 5 days...

Three months and five days to go. Is that possible?

It is hard to believe in less than 100 days I will be done with my formal education. After twenty some-odd years, I will no longer be in school. Unbelievable!

The semester started last week and already the nostalgia is setting in. As much as I am excited to be graduating, a part of me is already longing for more time. I really do love school and it is hard to imagine what life will be like outside of it. It will be so strange to not go to bed at night thinking about all of the readings I didn't get done that day, along with that feeling of dread over sitting for two 3 1/2 hour classes the next day. As much as I can't stand that feeling, I think part of me will actually miss it!

My goal for this semester is to try and enjoy myself as much as possible. It seems every semester I start out with that newly sharpened pencil, crisp paper feel and by the end of the second week am grudgingly dragging myself to class. I don't want this semester to be like that. It is my hope and prayer that I will move past the longing to finish and will live in the moment, learning as much as I can and enjoying the freedom that comes with student life vs work life.

Speaking of which, I had better get going so I am not late for class...

Sabbatical...sort of

Over the last few weeks, I have had the joy of taking a break from life. Now don't get me wrong, I love being busy and in the company of others, but it has truly been wonderful doing nothing. I have had no classes, no meetings, and only a couple appointments. Really, I have had my own sabbatical.

The most I have done over this vacation was read fun books. This has probably been the first time I have been able to do this since...well I don't even know when. I finished the entire Harry Potter series and loved it. I am going to try and read it over again to create a Bible study for Junior High/Senior High youth. I really don't understand how anyone who has read them can call them demonic or non-Christian. They really encompass so many biblical truths.

Life is quickly beginning again this weekend. I have a paper to write and then have a senior seminar about all those important practical things we don't address about being a pastor until now. While I am excited to being living in the "real world" again, it has truly been an amazing experience to take time to rest, relax, and just enjoy staying up late reading and watching movies.

These three weeks have demonstrated to me just how important self-care really is. For me this means occasionally taking time to simply be by myself in the quiet. Whether this is a few hours, a few days, or in this case a few weeks (like that will happen again!)...this is essential to my physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. This last semester really was full of stress trying to balance school, the approval process, and surgery. I didn't' realize how much it stressed me out until it was over. Looking back, I see I really didn't take the time I needed to rest. What a great lesson to have before first call.

So, today I will take a couple hours to enjoy the last bits of freedom, and then work on my paper. I will use these last few weeks as my reminder that we as Christians are called to honor the sabbath each week, and will do my best to follow this practice over the next semester.

Wish me luck...

Christmas '07

I have finally returned to Gettysburg after spending two weeks with family and friends. Although it is wonderful to sleep in my own bed and have my "kids" back, my vacations always feel too short. I already miss my family and look forward
to when I can get back to the northwest again.

The beginning of vacation did not kick off as well as we had all planned. Only two days in, my father and I got a pretty severe case of food poisoning. I promise I won't go into detail, but lets just say it took quite a few days to recover. Thankfully, we recovered without having to go to the doctor, but were close to that point. I will never eat at the Cheesecake Factory again.

Once we recovered from the food poisoning, I was on my way to Anchorage! It was so great to see my sister and to have a short visit with her. We did not do anything big, but rather spent time shopping and having an early Christmas together; I loved it. I also had my approval interview with the candidacy committee. It went incredibly well; I am finally done with the candicacy process and can proceed towards ordination! I am thrilled and cannot wait to receive my first call!

After a short two days with my sister, I headed back to Seattle to spend Christmas with my father, stepmother, and younger sister (and dog of course). We had such a wonderful Christmas playing games, opening gifts, and just resting. And, would you believe it, this is what we spotted while opening gifts Christmas morning:

None of us can remember the last time it actually snowed in Seattle on Christmas; we are thinking it was the early '80's. It was beautiful and topped off a wonderful day. This is most likely the last Christmas I will spend in the Northwest, as from now on I will be serving as a pastor. Of course as a pastor you can't really go on vacation during such an important time. I feel blessed to have had such a great Christmas with my family and look forward to all of them coming out to be with me on Christmas from now on!

I ended vacation by going to meet the newest little member of our family. My cousin gave birth to this beautiful little one early in December. She is such a great mother and it was awesome to see how in tune she is with him. I cannot believe she is a mother, as I still view her and my younger sister and being so little! It evidenced to me that we are actually all adults now (scary). He was just so cute and it was fun to hold such a little one again. He looks so much like his mama and has our family's eyes.

As you can tell, it was a great vacation. I am so happy to have gotten away for a little bit. This last semester was a trying one and I was in real need of a getaway. It was nice to spend time with family, sleep in, and I even read two more of the Harry Potter books (only two more to go!). I know i'm on vacation when I get to read a fun book! :)

This January I only have an independent study course and the senior seminar the last two days. I am going to spend this time cleaning, resting, writing my paper, and just enjoying myself. In many ways, it's like my own little sabbatical! After that, it is my last semester of Seminary and then graduation. My older sister, father, and stepmother will be coming out to celebrate graduation with me which I am looking forward to.

So that is it for now. The next step in the assignment process is this February. I forget the exact date but it is towards the end of the month. The Bishops will get together and assign each of us first call pastors to a region. Within two days to a month after that I will be assigned a synod. Please be in prayer that the Spirit will be at work in the process and I will end up where I am meant to be. Of course, I have my own ideas of where I should be (don't we all), but I am doing my best to be open to anywhere. I know God will guide me to where I will best serve the Church.

I will end with a picture of my cute little nephew (friend Heather's baby) Asher. If you can believe it, this is the little guy who was born at only 24 weeks gestation! He has grown so much and is thriving. Thank you for continuing to keep him in your prayers.



Praying you all are doing well and hope you had a great Christmas!

Love, Laura

http://laurathevicar.blogspot.com/ (my online journal)

Called to love through prayer

Although William Law and I would not have agreed on many things, he is the author of one of my favorite sayings. When Asher and Jacob were born, thousands of people throughout the world (literally) came to pray for these two amazing little boys. One day when I was reading a book of quotes, I stumbled upon one by Law which said, "There is nothing that makes us love someone so much as praying for them." When I read this, my eyes could not help but well up with tears, as it touched at the heart of what so many of us were experiencing at that moment.

I have been working somewhat diligently today on another project for my Epistles course. As I was studying Paul and the core teachings in his letters, I was been unable to control my mind from drifting. I've read over and over again about the call to unity as the Body of Christ. In the context of Philippians, it is the call to be unified in the midst of proclaiming the Gospel. In our little internet community, it is still the call to proclaim the Gospel, but in the form of praying and supporting those who have become family even though we have never met.

While making dinner, I thought back to last year when I attended Christi Thomas' funeral mass. This was yet another beautiful child I had never met yet fell in love with over years of following her battle with neuroblastoma. There were many who thought I was crazy for driving five hours to a funeral when I knew no one, yet my internal reaction was always "but I did know her". I knew Christi as I journeyed with her via the internet through her treatments, through her jokes and outings, through her last days. Most importantly, I knew her and fell in love with her and her family through prayer. That is what compelled me to go and it is what made a five hour drive feel like minutes. I just knew in my heart I had to be there.

When William Law says there is nothing that makes us love someone as much as prayer does, he is speaking complete truth. I know many of you who have joined in praying for the caringbridge community understand this fully. During the last couple of months, we have lost so many on Asher and Jacob's Friends list. In the midst of celebrating the holidays, there has been a deep sorrow in knowing so many were losing their loved ones. In a way, we have been grieving alongside each family. In the suffering of these families, our hearts are broken.

I have been asked by some why I continue to follow these families when there is so much sorrow involved. I've been told to protect myself from unneccesary grief. Yet I know, as i'm studying in Paul, the call is to love. It is to love and risk the suffering, as Christ loves us so much he suffered on our behalf. We are co-crucified with Christ, participating in his suffering and death. Loving others includes suffering, it is not free from pain and grief. Our call to proclaim the Gospel includes taking such risks in order to pray for others. It is the gift God has given us. I will take the risk, as the reward is so much greater. To love others and see Christ in them is one of the great blessings I have experienced. So, I will shed the tears and continue to love these children of God through prayer.

7 Days and Counting...

I have a strong love/hate relationship with early December. The end of the semester always gets me quite neurotic and riled easily. I'm finding this year is worse than others, particularly because I know the importance of doing well in my courses. Graduation is just around the corner, and I kinda need certain classes to graduate!

The thing that makes this crazy time of year wonderful is the Advent season. Preparing for and anticipating the celebration of Christ's birth. The fresh snow we actually have on the ground! The pretty little 5 1/2 foot tree in the corner of my room, stuffed full of presents nicely wrapped for my family. It's cold but hey, i'm an Alaskan and we like the cold! Even in the midst of the stress, this time of year is still one of my favorites.

At the moment, I am taking a "brain break" from my Hebrew final. The papers and tests are slowly winding down. My big stressor exegetical paper is finally done. Having this accomplished has taken a huge weight off my shoulders. In all, if it was double spaced it would have been 17 or so pages. After a week of staying up till between 2-4:30am, it is in the professors hands and finally out of mine!

My foot is slowly doing better. The physical therapist gave me a scare the other day by telling me he didn't see it getting much better. He felt I would probably always have the feeling of walking on a rock. According to him, I have basically no arch support anymore and there is little to protect my metatarsals from each other, which causes the rock feeling. I left his office feeling extremely burdened. He is looking for solutions to try and help the foot, but I did not get the sense he was confident about what he would find.

Thankfully, I have felt a small improvement this week. I have spoken with others, including my chiropractor who specializes in neurology. Most have expressed my feelings that I am less than a month out of surgery and my foot is still quite huge. It needs time to heal, and I need to keep working on it to loosen the scar tissue. I will never be 100%, but I doubt I will always be this bad. I do plan to call my doctor on monday to discuss what was said by the physical therapist, just to get his opinion (and reassurance!).

So, it's been quite a week! I feel so blessed to be at the end of my second to last semester. I will deeply miss this place, but am very much ready to take the next step. After almost 8 years of higher education, it is time to move on!

Hope you all are having a great week. I'm ready for some hot cocoa and a Christmas movie! Maybe I should finish my final first though...

The Joy's of PT

I don't know about the rest of you, but I think physical therapists find extreme joy in their work. It seems the more pain your in, the more their excitement rises. Makes you wonder, doesn't it?!

In case you haven't guessed, I began physical therapy today. It is my second go around, the other was before my first foot surgery. Thankfully, the PT was a really nice guy and was surprisingly gentle today. Although my foot hurts more this time around, the PT was actually easier!

I know as time goes on, he will get more aggressive. Today was more of an assessment to see where I am at. I was pleased to find out I am actually way ahead of the game! He told me my range of motion is where people typically are in week four (i'm only 2 1/2 weeks out), which is great.

The biggest struggle I will be facing is all the scar tissue. After two surgeries, there is a ton of it. Walking is by far the hardest thing to do; it feels like i'm walking on marbles and my big toe does not like to move. Hopefully if i'm aggressive enough, i'll work through it in no time!

Other than that, i'm in the midst of the last couple weeks of classes. Although i'm escatic at the idea of being done for the semester (1 more to go!), i'm so nervous about getting everything done. I've had to take extensions on some work, which I hate. It makes it so much more intense to make up the work plus the other things that are due. I know i'll get through it, I just have to pick at it one paper at a time.

This monday is the big day in regards to the call process. My paperwork for call/assignment is due into the ELCA headquarters in Chicago. The papers are very intense and have really forced me to look at my call, skills, and theology. I'm excited to have this done and in the office. In case your wondering, this is my resume type paperwork. Part of it goes to the Bishops during my assignment to a region and then synod; the other part goes out to churches that consider me for call. Pretty intense/exciting stuff!

Alright, speaking of all of that, I should probably get to it! Thank you for all of the comments to my last post. Sometimes I really wonder if i'm just talking to myself. If I am, that's okay. Writing really is therapeutic!

Here is a picture of my foot as it looks now. I hope it doesn't gross anyone out. Some have been curious and asked to see. As I aim to please, here it is! The swelling and bruising is really down a lot; you should've seen it two weeks ago!

Goodbye Boot!

Whew, surgery is OVER! I had my foot surgery two weeks ago, and am finally starting to get back to normal (well...somewhat). I was quite surprised at how painful the first week was. Honestly, I was not prepared in the least. The first few days it felt like the entire foot was on fire. After doubling the pain meds, I felt much better. *smile*

It turned out that there was much more in my foot than expected. My doctor was shocked to find I had not one but two neuromas in my left foot. To top it off, they were two of the biggest neuromas the doctor had seen all year.

The bone spur on the joint of my big toe was about 1/4 inch thick. He said they basically fractured my big toe and then cut off spur. I have to say this has been the roughest part of the recovery.

So, aside from the scars from my last surgery, I have three lovely new incisions: one is around 2 inches long, the other two about 1inch each. My foot looks like it has been through one tough battle. I still have quite a bit of pain, tingling, shocking feelings, and swelling. Then of course I have the permanent numbness. I am adjusting and I think not having the boot will help with this. I am so glad it is over.

My doctor is very, very happy with the progress made already, and thinks I will feel a whole lot better once all the healing has occurred. I am so blessed to have him as my surgeon and that everything has been taken care of. Hopefully, this is the last of my surgeries and I will be back to the gym, snowtubing, and long battlefield walks very soon.

Thank you for all your prayers, emails, and support. I apologize it took so long to update. I'm in the middle of finals, so it has been hard to balance my recovery, papers, and updates!

Hooray for Future Happy Feet!

Cutie Patootie Katharina peering off the couch

Hooray, I have a surgery date! I'll be sliced and diced on November 12th, only a mere 11 days from now. It is exciting and nerve-racking all at the same time.

Thankfully, the surgeon is an amazing person and is reworking his schedule just to fit me in. They had no openings until January, which will not be a good month for me school wise. What a blessing this doctor is; I will forever be grateful for the generosity he has shown towards me throughout this process.

This week has been a jam packed one. We had Luther Colloquy at Seminary, which is a day long seminar on Luther's theology. Honestly, I never really get into the lectures, but the socializing is great! We had so many of my old friends here who have graduated or are on internship. It was great to forget about school, feet, and call papers for a couple days and just enjoy the company. That, accompanied with school and surgery scheduling stuff made for a fun week!

Alright, it is time to cut this blog a bit short and get to bed. I've been doing the "stay up till 2am" gig a few nights too many and need to get back to a real schedule (wow, do I sound old). The next 11 days will be crazy with doctor appointments and trying to work ahead in classes. Probably shouldn't be writing call/assignment papers and exegeticals while i'm on happy drugs!